Make It Last!

Dear Emily,
My boyfriend ejaculates too quickly, what do you recommend to make sex last longer?

This is a common occurrence, so know that you and your boyfriend are not alone in this! First of all, if you didn’t cum, I’d hope that your boyfriend is kind enough to help you out with that. It’s common decency, really. Just because he came doesn’t mean that sex is over!

Premature ejaculation can happen for a variety of reasons. It may be that your boyfriend is nervous, or that he is used to masturbating and finishing quickly, or that he hasn’t practiced delaying orgasm.

Here are some tips on how to help him not orgasm as quickly.

  • Take a little break from penis and vagina (or penis and ass) action. Kiss, have him go down on you for a bit, masturbate in front of him. Anything that delays his orgasm a little longer.
  • If you aren’t wearing condoms, suggest that he does. This can take away some of the sensitivity. Similarly, numbing gels can help.
  • Cock rings not only help maintain erections, they also can help him last longer. Doctors recommend that the cock ring in on for 30 minutes or less.
  • Have more sex, or have him jerk off more. If he’s only cumming once or twice a week, he’s going to cum way faster. So, to practice, he’s gotta cum more often!

Most importantly, talk to your partner about this. A nonjudgemental conversation letting him know that you want to work with him may help him feel supported and less pressured. It may take some practice, so patience is key. Good luck!

Cheering you on,


2 thoughts on “Make It Last!

  1. Hi there, nice post. May I add a couple options to this?

    Perhaps the most effective approach is for a guy to strengthen his PC or pubococcygeus muscles. This muscle can be strengthened through exercises like any other muscle.

    Exercises can be found through search – I read a really good book on this many years ago but I can’t remember the name unfortunately.

    Stronger PC muscles not only help to last longer, they also make the erection harder, orgasms stronger and last longer, and will produce a more powerful release of ejaculate (will shoot out more as opposed to oozing).

    With strong enough PC muscles a man can prevent himself from ejaculating all together. I know, why would they want to…. I wouldn’t, but in some cultures men strive for that – a sign of power and virility (or something like that).

    My other suggestion might sound a bit counter-intuitive, but I’ve found that it is effective to “warming it up” more slowly. Which means, reducing the energy and stimulation at first to try to prevent a guy from getting erect as quickly.

    I’m not certain why this works – perhaps it’s like jumping in a freezing pool verses getting in slowly. If the senses and nerve endings don’t have time to adjust, the senses are overwhelmed by the sudden stimulation (in the case of a guy, being overwhelmed by the stimulation leads to, you guess it, ejaculation )

    Hope I didn’t intrude, just thought this might be helpful.

    Liked by 1 person

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