Roommate Woes

Dear Emily,
I’m a university student and I live in a house with four other people. I love it and I love my roommates, there’s just one issue. My roommate’s boyfriend (who is also my good friend, and who lives in a house in the neighborhood with a bunch of other of our guy friends) is over ALL THE TIME. Even when my roommate isn’t home, he’s there. He’s always spending the night, and there when I get home from work or class. On the weekends when I wake up, he’s there making breakfast. I don’t mind it most of the time but sometimes I just want to be alone or just with my roommates. How can I tell my roommate that I feel like he’s over too much?
Going Over Human Occupancy, Making Every Breath Understandably Difficult

Dear GO HOME BUD,
Ah, college life. Living with a ton of people and dealing with roommates can be super fun, and also super annoying. You’ll inevitably deal with this kind of thing more than once and it’ll always baffle me. Like, dude, you pay rent somewhere else! Go there!

Anyway, talk to your roommate. Tell her that you really like her boyfriend and that you have fun when you’re all together, but that he has to stop being there when she’s not around. I mean, we have a perfect example of how annoying that is in Broad City. Bevvers is always there and Abbi’s roommate is never there. It’s irritating! I think it’s fair for you to ask for privacy when she’s not there (and when she is).

Also, set some boundaries. Ask her that they stay over at his house more, or that he sleeps there more (you know, where his bed is!). You pay rent to live with her, not him. You have the right to ask that someone who doesn’t pay rent spend less time at your apartment. You also have the right to feel comfortable in your own house. Sometimes you just want to come home to quiet, and that’s more than reasonable. If you roommate is pissed, she can deal with that.

Best of luck!
Emily

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