Bad Breakup

Dear Emily,
My boyfriend of a year recently broke up with me. He didn’t really give me any great reasons, but just said that he didn’t feel the same way as he used to. I respect his decision, but I’m just so sad. I don’t know what to do. It’s been two weeks and I still can’t even go to delete the pictures of him on my phone because seeing him makes me so sad. What do I do?
Sappy, Aimless, Dumped

Dear SAD,

Oh buddy, we’ve all been there. Breakups really, really, really suck. It feels like your heart is actually broken and that you’ll never be okay again. Let me tell you right now that you will eventually feel okay again. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but ask anyone who has been through a breakup before, you’ll be okay.

You’ve said it’s been two weeks. Give yourself another full week to be sad. Eat ice cream. Watch sad movies. Listen to sad music (Adele has some amazing songs that you can cry to while singing and also shoving McDonald’s in your face). Do what you do when you’re sad. After one week of crying and feeling so bad for yourself that you make it an Olympic sport, start making as many plans as you can. Set up friend dates UP THE WAZOO. Like, be as busy as you can possibly imagine. A friend wants to go to that new bar? Yes, you do want to go. Another friend has to run errands? Hey, you can do that together! Just tag along. While you’re hanging out with a friend, have them delete those pictures you can’t stand to look at. You know that cliche thing where you change your hair after a breakup? Do it, because it works. You’ll still be sad, but after another week or two, you gotta pick yourself up and start your life again. In this case faking it ’til you make it can be a great strategy.

A few months from now you’ll stop and think, “Wow, I didn’t even think about so and so today, good for me!” and high five yourself because hell yes good for you. You’re awesome and worthy of love, especially love from yourself. Remember to be gentle with yourself. You’re grieving. It’s okay to feel sad, it’s a human emotion.

With a high five and also a hug,

PS, you’re gonna be okay, I promise.

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